It's been a long week, I waited expectantly for the weekend, and now it is almost over. Feels a lot like my life. I am trying to sort out what I am doing here (in Albuquerque, but there may be broader implications.) It's been a long time since I have felt like this. I am not happy. I thought I would be. Moving to New Mexico was my geographic cure. And for some things, it has been a wonderful change. More sunshine helps my season affective disorder; my allergies are practically non-existent here.
I live in a beautiful state, I have a nice home, my kids are grown, and basically healthy. I have six terrific grown children, and ten amazing grandchildren. I don't understand why that is not enough to make me happy. Of course, I miss them terribly and that probably accounts for a lot of the angst. There is also this economic downturn thing, but so far it hasn't affected me (knock on wood.)
I think the recent fall did more than affect my shoulder, arm, hand, and face. I think it shook up my brain; reminded me of how very mortal we all are; and has caused me to rethink my entire existence. Now, that is NOT a pleasant way to spend a Sunday!!